To find a leaf in a forest
by Cyn V
Summary: A collection of character snapshots focused on Tobirama Senju.
1. Of Gods

**Disclaimer : Kishimoto owns _Naruto_. I just like to fool around with it.**

 **Notes : Here you will find ****a collection of ficlets** **and ch** **ar** **acter sn** **apshots** **. My go** **al is mostly to explore** **Tobir** **am** **a's person** **ality** **, but** **any c** **anon** **ch** **ar** **acter with whom he might h** **ave** **come into cont** **act** **is f** **air g** **ame** **. I will st** **ate right** **aw** **ay** **th** **at since this is essenti** **ally** **a writing** **exercise,** **I** **am open to** **t** **aking requests for** **ch** **ar** **acters** **or situ** **ations, provided th** **at** **they fit the molds of wh** **at w** **as** **described** **above. I'm m** **ark** **ing the fic** **as complete, bec** **ause e** **ach ch** **apter will be self-cont** **ained** **and I h** **ave no ide** **a how m** **any of them there will be in full. I'll just keep writing them until I'm s** **atisfied** **.** **Cheers!**

 **Summ** **a** **ry : ****Tobirama's thoughts on Hashirama.** **(Bec** **ause no one's** **a bigger closet f** **anboy th** **an him** **and** **he should re** **ally get th** **at underlying hero-worship checked by** **a doctor sometime.** **)**

* * *

 **Of Gods.**

Hashirama never understood it.

He did not understand it when he was three and the only one who could calm down a fussing Tobirama. He did not understand it when he was four and his toddling brother developed the uncanny ability to always find him, no matter where he was or who might be near him. He might have understood it when he was six and his father declared Tobirama the most gifted sensor ever born to the clan, but he missed his chance then. At ten, when he was put in charge of his own squad of Senju ninjas, he was still clueless. And at eighteen, when his father died and he ascended to the position of leadership among the clan, it became inevitable that he would never understand just how different from everyone else he was.

He spoke of equality, that every person on earth suffered equally, and that therefore ninjas had the capacity to come together as one, bonded by their experiences, to put an end to all wars. They could live in peace and harmony, if only they understood that everyone else was the same as them.

Tobirama recognised the lie that hid inside that truth clearly. Hashirama's was a beautiful idea, powerful enough in its simplicity to draw all sorts of people around it, and his older brother believed in it with all his heart. But he never let himself see how everyone who deposited their faith in that idea looked up to him and was instinctively following his lead. They were not living by it, they were living it through him. He never understood how separate he stood from the rest of the world, how he belonged to a category of his own, apart even from his own family, and Tobirama had long decided that he would not be the one to cut his brother's wings by showing him the reality of those who lived down on the earth.

God of Shinobi, the people called Hashirama. The man who would become first Hokage usually brushed aside the title, convinced that it was a fabrication of storytellers who wanted to embellish their history books. He never understood the truth in it.

Gods were not gods by choice or through flattery. Rather, they were: their actions, a consequence of an unrepeatable nature; and their nature, as grand and unapproachable as a forest fire clearing the path for the fragile lives that would be dragged by the momentum of its wake.


	2. Ignorance

**Notes : This takes place during chapter 619, page 13. The dialogue between Tobirama and Orochimaru is taken from Mangastream's and Mangapanda's translations. I'd warn for blood and dark themes, but I doubt anyone will be shocked, really.**

 **Summary : There are many types of ignorance, forced or otherwise, but the worst kind comes when one is convinced that they know all that there is to know.**

* * *

 **Ignorance.**

"You seem to be fixated on Madara… Does he frighten you so?"

Orochimaru's grand theatricality clashed with the dust and cobwebs covering the old Uchiha shrine. The only sources of light in the room were a pair of candles against the far wall; the shadows of his expansive movements skittered over the walls, giving shape to the ghosts of the past.

What a fool, Tobirama thought, taking a moment to appraise the man in silence. What a naïve, insensate fool.

Yes, Madara frightened him so and he was not ashamed to admit it. Fear was just another tool in a ninja's arsenal, just another sense they could use to survive. And Madara's darkness ran deep enough to carve itself a permanent place into any ninja with an ounce of sense.

Tobirama had disliked the man in life. He had been unstable and unpredictable, an unstoppable force whose gravity could tear the world around him apart. His presence had unnerved Tobirama even when they had supposedly been allies. And after the Uchiha had turned his back on his clan and the village, that unease had been confirmed as all tethers to whatever sanity the man had left snapped loose.

Yes, he fixated on Madara. His senses could not help but be drawn towards the distant roar of his out-of-control power. He had been afraid of him in life without knowing the full extent of his madness. Death had now unveiled to him all the reasons why the man should be feared.

He remembered arriving at the Valley of the End, following Hashirama's chakra, picking his way over a canyon of rocks recently gouged out of the landscape and down to the bottom of a newly-formed pool. There, his brother had lain unconscious, blood flowing from his exposed chest and mixing with the waters in spidery fingers of red.

Tobirama's heart had leapt to his throat at the sight of him, so still. His shock was so great that he had allowed himself to forget the first rule of survival for a ninja: to always be aware of his surroundings.

Hashirama had been cold when he reached him, but he soon realized that it was simply due to the water draining the heat rather than for any more sinister reason. He had been kneeling next to Hashirama, trying to pull him into a sitting position, when a hand had closed around his throat. Only then did he realize his mistake.

Madara.

Tobirama had looked to the side and there he was, armour torn off him by the brutality of battle against his best friend and skin that had felt as cold as Hashirama's. His eyes, however, were blazing, spearing in their intensity. He had been so close that Tobirama could smell the sweat underneath the blood.

Before he could think to reach for a weapon, to finish at last what his brother had started, Madara's eyes had come to life. The red burst from his pupils as paint in water, black designs inking themselves before him, turning an already malevolent stare into the glare of a death god.

Tobirama was paralysed, trapped in a genjutsu so powerful that no pain could have broken it.

"Tobirama…" the Uchiha purred, leaning closer so that the sound travelled directly into his ear. "You're lucky I need everyone to believe that I'm dead or I'd take great pleasure in putting an end to your life right here."

His fingers had constricted around Tobirama's airways, to the point where he could not breathe. Every instinct the Senju possessed cried at him to react, to lash out, to fight back, to break loose, but the genjutsu holding him in place had been too strong. He was at the other's mercy.

"I should just stick a blade in your gut right now, slowly so I can feel the flesh part every milimetre of the way. Nowhere vital nor too deep, just enough that your own stomach acids could eat their way through your insides. It would take you days to die… Do you know how agonizing it would be? I do. So did Izuna."

Madara's voice was velvety, at odds with the gruesome things he described. Tobirama became all the more convinced that, somehow, the Uchiha had to die. He was too far gone. He would destroy the world with a smile on his face. If only Hashirama had seen it sooner, he and Tobirama could have eliminated him before things had gotten to this point. Now, with Hashirama out cold and Tobirama helpless before the sharingan, there was nothing to be done. They were dead and the village would follow.

"So you're very lucky, Tobirama," Madara continued. "You would not be able to explain your wound, so, today, I will let you live."

The genjutsu had run its course then and Tobirama had joined his brother in unconsciousness. By the time he had woken, he had had no memory of ever seeing Madara and merely helped his brother limp his way back to the village, convinced of their triumph.

The unease that overcame him at the thought of Madara had never left, though. He had always found it strange that the thought of a dead man should inspire so much dread in him. Now he knew. The Uchiha's genjutsu had kept the knowledge from him, but deep down he had always known that the danger had remained. And now death had revealed all the truth to him.

"Youngster…" Tobirama told Orochimaru. "You know nothing of Madara."


	3. Betrayal

**Notes : Thank you to everyone who has reviewed or added this to their faves or alerts! It means a lot to me to know that this did not make you plain indifferent. I'm experimenting quite a lot here, so all feedback is appreciated. ;)**

 **Summary : Hashirama is not perfect and Tobirama is not evil.**

* * *

 **Betrayal.**

It was hard not to feel betrayed. As much as Tobirama reminded himself that ninjas had no need for emotions or that Hashirama was and would forever be his big brother, if he was entirely honest with himself, Tobirama would say he was furious – hurt and mad and bleeding trust that would never be regained from a torn heart.

Fortunately, he never allowed himself that kind of honesty. What place was there for truth in the battle-filled lives of the Senju? Survival was all that mattered and so he was able to convince himself that it made no difference to him that Hashirama had kept a secret friend for months and had never seen fit to confide in his younger brother about the meetings or what happened in them.

There was nothing Tobirama would not do for his siblings. Butsuma's harsh training had successfully instilled that in him, that desire to protect his family and put them above everything, expectations and morality included. Their father's cruelty had also forged a bond between the brothers that was stronger than anything. Given a choice between his brother and his father, Tobirama would not even hesitate: his father could burn. Protecting Hashirama was all that mattered.

He had believed that Hashirama had known that and felt the same way – that he could trust Tobirama with anything, that they stood united by the same cause and the same hopes for the future. He remembered how, at Kawarama's funeral, he had defended his older brother from their father's abuse. He also remembered speaking out against the foolish adults who dictated their lives when he, Hashirama and Itama had retreated to their favourite spot in the woods afterwards. Hashirama had not said much then, but the younger boy had assumed that his silence meant that his brother agreed with what he said and would strive together with him to change their flawed reality into something better.

Now a task that had been charged on him by their father had revealed to Tobirama that Hashirama had excluded him from his plans to bring about a peaceful future and replaced him with someone whose full name he had not even known. It stung – and the pain was made all the worse by the fact that it had been only because of his father that Tobirama had found out. Butsuma's involvement in an affair that should have concerned the two brothers alone sullied the wound, making it almost certain to infect.

Tobirama had heard his brother and that Madara talk about creating a village, about family, sharing techniques they had developed with one another and joking about stupid things along the way, as he spied from a distance. Their familiarity had been revolting to the younger Senju, who had initially been displeased when Butsuma had ordered him to follow Hashirama. He had even considered leaving his brother alone as he clearly wished to be, so unfaltering was his faith. He would have reported to his father afterwards that he had found nothing suspicious, but his sense of duty had won out in the end.

Hashirama and Tobirama were supposed to be together, two against the world. Instead, Hashirama had left Tobirama behind and traded him for an Uchiha.

The whole thing was sickening. Tobirama would rather not consider the implications of his brother's actions, what reasons might have led him to hide them from Tobirama. Trust had never come easily to him and Hashirama had been the one person in the world who he felt he could count on, no matter what. Clearly, the feeling had not been reciprocated.

It was almost impossible not to feel the betrayal – not to let it sink its hooks into his tender heart, bereft of all defenses, wounds inflicted by the one person who had lived behind its walls – but Tobirama told himself that there was no room for emotions in his life and soldiered on.

Hashirama would need his help now more than ever and Tobirama would not be much of a brother if he were not at his side.


	4. Blindness

**Notes : Thank you, everyone! I shall continue to experiment away a little longer. :) This time I just wanted to write something about the murdering glares going all around when Tobirama found his brother talking with Madara about who would be Hokage...**

 **Summary : Blind is the one who cannot see. Blinder still can be the one who does.**

* * *

 **Blindness.**

Hashirama sees what is happening. Of course he does, he is no fool.

He sees the way Madara's rare smiles sour as if they had never been more than a whim of the imagination. He sees the silences: Madara's arms drop dead when the second before they had jested. His body turns the other way, refusing all contact. All it takes is for Tobirama to show his face.

Hashirama also sees how his brother's eyes consistently shift away from him, towards Madara, even as he addresses his brother alone. Tobirama is not as outwardly expressive, so it is the only obvious sign that he lets slip of his unease around the other man, but Hashirama always catches it; and if he does, then he must assume that Madara does too. Although he does not possess the same advantage of having known the younger Senju his whole life, the Uchiha's eyes are nothing if not perceptive.

All three are aware of it, but none dare speak of it: that boiling hatred and festering mistrust that lies just under the surface must never be verbalised, never acknowledged, lest it explode in their hands. It is a strenuous balance which they keep, a silent compromise that was never agreed upon.

Madara loathes Tobirama for being alive when he murdered Izuna. His very existence is salt to a wound that remained gushing, oozing pestilence. Tobirama, too discerning for his own good at times, senses it. Hashirama's instincts tell him that he is not privy to the whole story, but he is certain that Madara's poorly disguised grudge is at the root of his younger brother's continued mistrust.

Hashirama hates the tension. It frays the bonds that tie them together and eats at the trust that exists between them. He does not know what to do about it anymore other than to keep up with the pretence and hope that one day the lie becomes the truth. Madara suffers because he has no brothers left and, no matter how hard Hashirama tries to take him into his family, he persists in the notion that he is alone. As long as Tobirama lives, Madara will not accept that the Senju know his pain.

So all that Hashirama can do is hope. He hopes that, in time, his friend – his brother – will realise that he is not alone in his hurt. If only he would allow it, they could split the burden between them and move forward, to a future that he cannot promise will be without tears, but where they will at least not have to dry them on their own.


	5. On your feet

**Notes : I'm playing with Hashirama. The way I see it, he is so caught up in his quest to protect his brothers all by himself that he forgets to consider that they have desires of their own. It is as if he likes the idea of them more than the actual individuals. I am exaggerating, because of course Hashirama loves his brothers, but there's something about the way he tends to exclude them in the few flashbacks we got that makes me wonder. I think he is a lot like Butsuma – only at the other end of the cheerful–stern spectrum. The way he simply decides what is best for everyone when he talks in secret to Madara is very Butsuma-like to me.**

 **Summary : Hashirama and Tobirama train with their father. Tobirama has trouble keeping up.**

* * *

"On your feet, Tobirama!"

Three-year-old Tobirama Senju looked down as drops of sweat rolled off his face and dotted the tatami mats next to his hands. Not even his father shouting from across the room could get him to move at this point. He was out of breath, his hands were shaking and his legs felt as heavy as if they were tied to two sacks of weights. Every muscle in his body was burning from exertion, rebelling against his will. He wanted to rise and obey his father's command, but he simply could not.

"Did I hurt you, Tobi?" Hashirama asked.

The young boy was able to lift his head at least, to reassure his older brother. His brother's hit had unbalanced him, but it was not the reason he was on his knees. His foot had cramped, loudly protesting the effort it had been put through. Looking up along the practice bokken trained on him, he tried to shake his head, but he was gasping and breathing so heavily that he doubted that the message had gotten through.

Regardless, it would have to do. He dare not attempt to speak, lest their father hear and scold him. "If you have enough breath in you to talk, you have enough breath in you to fight," was the lesson he got most often.

Tobirama had started his ninja training close to a month ago. There were many things about it that he enjoyed, such as the opportunity to spend time with his older brother and father. Then there were many more things that he was not so sure about. Every day, his father pushed him to the limit of his physical endurance. Hashirama had been training for three years already, had even gone on several missions as part of a ninja team, so he could handle the exercise much more easily than him. Tobirama worked his hardest, but still he could not hope to keep up as his father expected him to.

A follower of the "learn or die" school of thought, Butsuma did not spare him. The one lenience he had been granted was the use of bamboo shinai throughout the first month of learning. Now that he had a grasp on the basic positions and katas, however, the flexible bamboo practice swords had been exchanged for the bokken, which were made of solid wood, much heavier and much more similar to actual katanas.

They were harder for a three-year-old to balance properly. Tobirama was often thrown by simply trying to hold a sword that was taller than him and thicker than his arm. The bokken hurt a lot more when they hit too, but that was half the reason that they used them. Butsuma wanted to toughen him up, so that he could better withstand the injuries that would come when he joined the war as a ninja for his clan.

The idea that the pain was for his benefit was difficult for a three-year-old to apprehend. All that Tobirama knew for sure was that his father knew what was best, that his whole family was fighting and that he had to join them if he wanted to help them. If it meant that he could keep Hashirama and his father and all of his favourite relatives from dying like his other cousins and uncles and the grandfathers that he had never known, then he would do his best to endure whatever training his father put him through.

His resolve and youthful resilience notwithstanding, at the moment he was sure that he would break. His breath would not even out and his heart would not slow down. Worse, his foot was hurting so badly that he could barely stand. The pain was continuous, extending throughout his leg and up to his thigh.

Hashirama finally lowered his sword, abandoning his ready attack position, and came to lend Tobirama a hand. He had to support most of the younger boy's weight, but eventually he got him up on his feet and helped him to walk over to their father.

"I don't think he can go any further, Father," Hashirama said.

Butsuma's stern countenance never faltered. Arms crossed as he studied Tobirama's sweaty face, he took his time before answering.

"Go home and rest, Hashirama," he ordered. "You have a mission tomorrow. Your brother and I will continue without you."

Tobirama felt the jolt that went through his brother's body. He looked to the side to see him staring at their father wide-eyed. Hashirama avoided making eye contact with him as he acknowledged the command and gently disentangled himself from Tobirama, who was forced to rest all of his weight on one leg so that he would not fall. Once he was sure that his younger brother was steady on his feet, Hashirama handed their father his bokken and left.

He had not said anything, but his body had betrayed his reaction and Tobirama knew exactly why he had jumped. He felt the same way, afraid of what Butsuma would do next.

If he did not have the strength to fight Hashirama, he certainly had not the strength to go up against their father. And Hashirama had told him many times of how glad he was that they could practice together now that Tobirama was old enough, because training with their father had been a hundred times worse.

Tobirama clenched his fists in despair. He wanted to please his father and help his family, but he was not strong like Hashirama. He was small and weak.

He braced himself as his father came closer, holding the bokken with natural ease.

"Next time, there will be no reprieve," Butsuma began with a hard voice, tapping Tobirama's shoulder with the wooden sword.

The boy's head snapped up. Not because of the touch, but rather because it was very rare that his father spoke like that to him. He either spoke to Hashirama or barked orders at the room about what they should do. These words right now were meant for him and him alone. Tobirama would listen as carefully as his current state allowed and treasure them.

"Your enemies will not stop as Hashirama did should you fall, and neither should you. It is a sign of respect not to hold back. If the opportunity arises, they will kill you. And if the opportunity arises, you will do the same to them. There is no room for compassion in a ninja's heart, no room for weakness or pain or exhaustion. We must rise above it if we are to survive. Do you understand, Tobirama?"

He did not understand every word, but he thought he knew what his father was saying all the same. Do not be weak or you will die.

"Yes, Father."

"Good. Then we will take a break. Put some ice on that foot and drink some water. We will continue after."


	6. Lower your finger

**Notes : ****So I just realized that Tobirama was _sweating_ in chapter 620! I know that these are cues for the reader, but damn it, I choose to interpret this as Tobi being legitimately afraid of what Hashi might do. This should not have surprised me, because Hashi is just like Butsuma, but damn, it still did. I wonder how he treated Tobi after Madara's death. Those cannot have been fun times. (Quotes are a mix of Mangastream's and Mangapanda's translations.)**

 **Summary : Hashirama puts Tobirama in his place.**

* * *

"Tobirama!"

His brother's shout was accompanied by a massive outpour of chakra that cracked the walls around them. Layers of dust were sent flying in a circle that had Hashirama's foot at its centre and pieces of the ceiling crumbled down on top of their heads.

Orochimaru's group was terrified, the youngest of its members hiding for cover. Even those who had remained impassive to Tobirama's earlier threat were now on full alert.

One did not have to look at Hashirama's scowl to realize the murder in his thoughts. That blast had been intended to oppress, to fill the room and push back all other presences in the room. Its imperiousness dominated all others and the promise of violent retribution that it carried was all too easy to discern.

And its recipient was Tobirama.

As the greatest chakra sensor of his time – perhaps of all times – he felt it with triple the intensity of a regular ninja. That wave had simply batted away whatever chakra he had kneaded previously. It was a slap on his senses.

The fact that it was his brother who was the source made it all the worse to bear. Hashirama's was a chakra that he was used to and knew intimately. His system's natural response was to not guard against it. So it was that he felt the blast almost as a physical blow.

"Lower your finger," Hashirama said.

At that moment, Tobirama was certain that his brother would attack him if he did not obey his command. Staring at him now were the eyes of Butsuma, who had never hesitated at breaking one of his children's bones if he saw the need to put them in their place. Staring at him now were the eyes of Madara and of the man who had killed his best friend.

Turning on one's brother was nothing compared to ending the life of a dear friend. Those were the eyes of one who would not flinch at killing Tobirama if it came down to it.

"Fine…" Tobirama replied, feeling the sweat run down his face.

He let his finger rest against his arm once more and let the chakra that he had kneaded disperse naturally. It was humiliating to have to do so openly, in front of everyone, but he had no other choice. In fact, Hashirama's anger had been roused to such an extent that he doubted that the small gesture would be enough to pacify him entirely. Feeling the need to emphasize his position as the submissive follower, he added:

"No need to spike your chakra to those levels… Brother."


	7. Kinship

**Notes : ****Hashirama's dialogue is lifted entirely from Mangastream's translation of chapter 622.  
** **Summary : Tobirama and Itama after Kawarama's death.**

* * *

"I wonder... Can we reach a truce?... Or, better yet, even form a kinship?"

Hashirama's words caught both Itama and Tobirama by surprise. Their elder brother had been silent since they had left their father at Kawarama's burial. Not once had he expressed any kind of opinion about what the two of them had said about truces and what constituted proper shinobi conduct and now he spoke of kinship towards the enemy, of all things?

Even Tobirama, who had been advocating that shinobi stop seeking vengeance, found it hard to imagine. It was one thing to cease fighting, to form a truce where each party could live and let live; it was another thing altogether to take their enemies into their bosom and call them kin. How could anyone call someone who had taken their loved ones away kin?

Itama, the gentler soul of the four – the three –, who was still reeling from watching their brother Kawarama's remains be lowered into the ground, had a harder time accepting the idea. As far as he was concerned, it was offensive. Kawarama was kin! The Uchiha who killed him could never be called the same.

He jumped down from the tree stump where he sat.

"Itama?" Tobirama called, but his youngest brother did not even look at him. He just disappeared into the woods at a sad trod, heading back towards the Senju camp.

Tobirama turned to Hashirama next. He could imagine what might be going through Itama's head at the moment and was annoyed at his older brother for not being more careful about what he let slip. Itama not saying anything meant that he had taken his brother's words in the worst possible way.

"Brother, what were you thinking, talking about kin at a time like this?"

But Hashirama had withdrawn back into his thoughts. He was murmuring something to himself – "An actual kinship..." – so, shaking his head, Tobirama decided that out of his two siblings, Itama needed him the most. Hashirama could take care of himself. In any case, it was his fault that Itama was hurting again now, and after how hard it had been to get their baby brother to stop crying too...

Tobirama caught up with Itama close to where the forest gave way to the Senju camp. In the distance, he could just hear the sound of picks and shovels hitting rocks as the men finished covering the graves of their fallen clansmen, right next to Kawarama's.

"Itama...?"

His little brother's reaction was immediate. Itama stopped and turned around, revealing red, swollen eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. The sight had Tobirama cursing Hashirama's cluelessness all over again. For being the eldest and supposedly wisest of the brothers, he sure was lousy at measuring his words. One thoughtless comment and he had wrecked all their efforts to comfort Itama.

"You know what?" the youngest said in a shrill, nearly hysterical voice. "Hashi's right! We should just treat the Uchiha like family!"

Tobirama felt a shudder of apprehension that someone might be close enough to hear the treasonous declaration, but he knew that he could not tell Itama to quiet down now or it would only make things worse. He was not sure where his brother was going with such an outrageous claim, but he was clearly too emotional to listen to anything Tobirama might have to say. Hoping to indirectly suggest to him to lower his voice, he stepped closer and whispered Itama's name.

It did calm his little brother, up to a point, but it also caused a fresh surge of tears that made it harder to understand what Itama said next.

"Mother doesn't care about anything. She wasn't even there to say Kawa goodbye! Father just beats us up anyway, and you and Hashi just want to forget Kawa as soon as possible and 'move on'! So, yeah, treat the enemy like family! You're all just perfect for each other!"

By the time that Itama finished his rant, he was holding his head in his hands, trying to hold back the shameful tears that no shinobi ought to shed. The long sleeves of his jacket were wet and he took in large and noisy gulps of air.

Tobirama knew that he had to do something. He had been closest to Kawarama than Itama, so the accusation that he wanted to forget his brother had especially stung, but he knew that Itama did not truly mean it. Those words had been born out of a need to lash out and hurt others as much as he hurt himself, rather than any honest opinion he might have. Itama was suffering. Hashirama might be too busy dealing with his own issues to think about their littlest brother, but he was not Hashirama.

Resigning himself to the snot and tears, he pulled Itama close against his shoulder. Even as the younger boy resisted, trying to wring himself free of the hug and throwing feeble punches at his older brother's chest and arms, he did not give up. Tobirama barely felt the hits and it all paid off when rather than continue trying to get away, Itama gave in, gripping his shirt and pulling him closer.

He truly wailed then.

"We're not going to forget Kawarama, little brother," Tobirama whispered into his ear a few minutes later, when the other appeared to be calming down. "It doesn't matter what mother or father or anyone else does. We won't forget him. He was our brother and we will always stick together. You know that we only have each other."

It took a few minutes more, but Itama's breathing eventually evened out. He looked for a clean patch on his jacket to wipe his face with.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, but Tobirama did not need to hear any such thing.

"That's all right, little brother. Come on, let's go home. You need to wash your face," Tobirama proposed, hand on his shoulder ready to lead the way.

He had his doubts that Itama had taken his words to heart. The apology had come too easily, too immediately, and knowing how his little brother looked up to Hashirama, the very person whose comment had hurt him this once, Tobirama was sure that their older brother was the one that Itama really needed to hear reassurances from.

Itama nodded and leaned forward like he was going to start moving, but then halted and looked back the way they had come.

"What about Hashi? Should we leave him alone?"

Tobirama doubted that they had to worry about him. It had not escaped his notice how Hashirama had barely given any response when both his brothers had left him on his own. He was probably deep in his thoughts even now, trying to make sense of his own ideas.

"He will be fine. We can go look for him if he's not back in an hour."

"All right..." Itama agreed. "Tobi?"

The small boy stood, shoulders slumped, looking at the dirt in front of his feet.

"I miss Kawa."

Kawarama. He had been Tobirama's best friend, having been closest to him in age.

Hashirama had been too far along in his training to keep his brothers company most of the time. He went out on missions almost every week now and their father was especially demanding of him because of his skill with the Mokuton. Butsuma took him away on extraordinary training sessions whenever there was time.

And Itama, with four year's difference from Tobirama, was just too young. At the time that Tobirama was battling his first enemy shinobi, Itama had still been in diapers.

But with Kawarama, who had been born a mere two years after himself, Tobirama had shared everything. As much as he loved Hashirama and Itama, their relationships were too tainted by familiar obligations and responsibility. Kawarama had been the only one who could make him feel like there were no expectations on him, like he was free to be his own person.

"I miss him too, Itama," Tobirama replied and meant it.

Slinging an arm around Itama's shoulder and pulling him close, the two of them made their way home.


	8. Dependence

**Notes : ****I would like to thank you all for your support. The reviews you've left have been very special and I'm very happy to know that you've enjoyed these little scribbles! I wish there were some way to thank you individually, but I guess this will have to do. Thank you! So: t** **he plan for this one was to use Tobirama to explain my headcanon for sensors and how their skills work, but I ended up not talking much about it at all because Hashirama took over and Tobirama is so young that he doesn't quite understand it himself. Oh well...  
** **Summary : Tobirama finds out he's a sensor.**

* * *

 **Dependence**

It was a hot summer afternoon and Hashirama found himself in the unfortunate position of having to train outdoors. There was not a breeze to be felt and the air was so muggy that every article of clothing stuck to his skin.

Given the exercise that his father had set up for him and Tobirama, it might have been an advantage, were it not for the long hours that they had to spend in the sun. The two boys were to sit, immobile, and meditate, focusing their chakra to hold a leaf against their forehead.

The leaf stayed in place easily enough – even had he not been using chakra, Hashirama doubted that it would go anywhere – but sitting still was torture. Hashirama was cooking in his clothes and the sun was burning the skin of his exposed arms and shoulders. He could not wait to be dismissed so that he could go swim in the river that crossed the Senju encampment, take refuge indoors or just sleep off the time until the weather was not quite so hellish.

He opened his eyes the slightest fraction to look at how Tobirama was doing next to him. His younger brother was sweating as much as him, his untrimmed white hair appearing darker at the tips where it stuck to his neck and forehead. Unlike him, though, the heat did not seem to trouble him. He looked very at ease, expression bland, betraying no exertion or discomfort. He was perfectly at peace.

A sudden sharp finger flick to his shoulder had Hashirama closing his eyes and focusing back on the exercise, however. Butsuma was nearby, monitoring the boys' progress, and no doubt had noticed his distraction.

He tried to think about anything other than how hot it was: how much longer father would keep him and Tobirama there, if there would be anything special for dinner, if mother would let him take Kawarama out to go look for that dog he had seen wandering around the other day… He thought that his younger brother would like to see it. The dog had not been very big and had had a few missing patches of fur on its flanks, but it had been friendly and Hashirama did not think that Kawarama had ever petted one. Perhaps they could just go for a swim…

"All right, boys. That's enough. We'll continue tomorrow."

Butsuma's voice was music to Hashirama's ears. He wasted no time in brushing the stupid leaf off of his forehead and jumping to his feet.

Tobirama was not as quick to react. His brother had yet to so much as open his eyes. Had he not heard father's dismissal?

Impatience getting the better of him, Hashirama shoved him on the shoulder to get his attention, but even that did not have the intended effect. Tobirama opened his eyes only sluggishly and gave him a blank look.

"Come on, Tobi!" he urged. "Let's get out of here and go do something fun!"

Before Tobirama had the time to say anything, Hashirama had grabbed him under one arm and pulled him to his feet.

He was expecting his younger brother to wake up and share his enthusiasm that they were free for the rest of the afternoon – a rare event, given their gruelling training schedule – but, instead, Tobirama remained listless, sleepy, leaning almost his entire weight against Hashirama's side. He was so unsteady, so clearly out of it, that he would have fallen right back down otherwise.

Hashirama found it amusing when he tried to get Tobirama moving and he stumbled on his own feet. Perhaps his brother had "meditated" a little more thoroughly than their father had intended. With their early practice rounds, none of the boys had been having enough rest lately. It was only natural for Tobirama to use the opportunity to catch up on his sleep.

When he looked closer, however, he realised that Tobirama was pale – much paler than usual. His skin was clammy. It was not just his hair that was sticking to his skin – his clothes also had wet patches down the back and in the armpits. Their father believed that being able to endure the full force of the sun for a short while was part of the bare minimum abilities that any human being should possess, let alone a shinobi, but the truth was that Tobirama had always been vulnerable to excessive heat.

He started to worry that something was not quite right with him.

"Tobi?"

Hashirama grabbed him to make sure that he did not fall and wondered if he should help his brother sit back down or wait for him to snap out of whatever he was going through at the moment. Tobirama had probably just gotten up too fast, the older boy reasoned.

Seeing that his sons were not leaving when usually they would have already been specks on the horizon, Butsuma stopped to take a closer look at Tobirama himself.

"What's wrong with him?" he asked.

Hashirama had no idea and told his father just that. "I guess he's just tired and the weather's too hot?" He wanted to ask Tobirama next if he was feeling better, but he never had the chance.

The younger boy's head tilted forward dangerously. It was the only warning sign any of them had before he collapsed, unconscious.

"Tobi!"

Hashirama felt his brother's arm drag down the side of his body. He tried to go down with him, to hold him, but he was just a beat too late and not strong enough to hold so much dead weight. Tobirama's head hit the ground freely. There would be a nasty bump there when he woke up… if he woke up.

For a moment, all that Hashirama could do was stare at his brother splayed on the ground, too afraid that he would make things worse if he touched him. It was Butsuma who rushed over and pushed the panicking boy away to tend to his fallen son.

Hashirama watched his father kneel down to examine Tobirama, checking his temperature and feeling the back of his head where he had hit the ground for any signs of blood. Hashirama wondered if he should go get water or bandages, but he was so worried that he did not want to let his brother out of his sight. What if he was not there anymore when he got back?

After a few seconds, however, his father took action. Picking up Tobirama as if he weighed nothing – and, for someone who wore dozens of kilos in armour on a daily basis, it probably felt that way –, he prepared to run out of the training grounds.

Hashirama tried to follow, but Butsuma put a hand on his shoulder and barked at him to stay put. If at first Hashirama did as he was told, his obedience vanished the moment that his father was out of sight. Making use of all the tracking techniques that he had been taught, he followed him all the way to the stream that crossed the Senju encampment and hid behind a tree, straining his neck to catch a glimpse of his brother.

Butsuma did not even pause to remove his armour. He just waded into the water with Tobirama. Supporting his son's head on the crook of one arm, he submerged his body and used his free hand to splash water on his face.

The river was not very deep, but its currents were strong and Butsuma had to turn back towards the river bank while he found his footing and adjusted his hold of Tobirama. Already frightened, Hashirama was even more perturbed to see that his father's eternal scowl had given way to an altogether different expression. Hashirama almost could not believe what his eyes were telling him, but his father looked nervous, lips pursed and eyes widened just that little bit more than usual.

Hashirama had never seen him be anything other than a ruthless, unyielding rock and now here he was, treating Tobirama like the fragile child that he was, stroking his cheeks and smoothing back his wet hair.

Before Hashirama could quite get used to the idea, Tobirama's eyes opened.

"Father… What… Where am I?…"

It broke Hashirama's heart that his brother sounded so lost. What was wrong with him? Would he recover fully or would this happen again the next time they had to practice?

He felt so guilty.

Unaware of the conflict within his other son's heart, Butsuma shushed Tobirama and put a hand over his forehead to check for a temperature.

"Father…?"

Hashirama almost did not hear his brother's voice, so raspy it was. In contrast, Butsuma's carried loud and clear:

"Are you feeling better, Tobirama?"

"Yes… I think… What happened?"

"You fainted."

"Oh…"

Hashirama's spirits lifted. His brother was awake and responding! He wanted so badly to go to him now, but he was still under orders from his father not to. And if there was one thing he knew, that was that he should never contradict his father.

"Are you dizzy?" Butsuma inquired. "Lightheaded?"

"I don't think so…"

Butsuma sighed and began to wade out of the water, only letting go of his young son when he reached the shore, to lay him down over the grass.

Knowing how his father despised idleness, the young boy immediately tried to get up, but this was one time Butsuma broke his own rules. With a scold on his lips, their father ordered Tobirama not to move. And then he called out:

"Hashirama! If you're going to stand there you might as well make yourself useful. Run down to the house and get your brother a towel and a change of clothes!"

Hashirama was startled. He had been so sure of his hiding place.

"Y-Yes, father," he said, nonetheless. The thought of letting his brother out of his sight gutted him, but he had already disobeyed his father once and he dare not push his luck by doing it a second time.

He ran as fast as he could. His mother, busy weaving fabric on the loom, looked up when he came into the house without stopping to take off his sandals.

"Hashirama?" she called. "Did something happen?"

Hashirama's mind was such a whirlwind that he did not even hear her question. He entered the bedroom and grabbed the first thing he found before leaving as fast as he had came, with not a thought to spare to closing wardrobe or bedroom doors.

Kawarama, playing in the main room, put down his toys to look at his big brother in surprise. He tried to call his name, but he was as ignored as his mother before him.

The one thing that Hashirama focused on was sprinting back to the river, his heart in his throat. What if something went wrong and Tobirama fainted again? It was only when he got there and saw that his brother was sitting up on his own that he was able to relax.

But the mood was different now than when he had left. Tobirama was looking down at his hands and Butsuma was standing a little ways off, back to his usual, distant self.

Hashirama dropped to his knees next to his brother, still holding on to the clothes.

"Are you okay, Tobi?"

Tobirama slowly turned to look at him. His movements felt awkward to Hashirama, jerky. He had a little more colour on his cheeks, which was reassuring, but he still did not look at all healthy.

"Yes, big brother," he said, then winced.

Butsuma brusquely took the clothes from Hashirama's arms.

"Go home, Hashirama. Tell your mother to start dinner. Tobirama and I will be there shortly."

Hashirama did not want to leave again, but his father pulled him up by the back of his shirt and shoved him in the direction of the house.

"GO!" he roared.

Hashirama was torn. On any other day, it would not have so much as crossed his mind to not listen to his father when he yelled like that, but Tobirama needed him. In the end, though, it was Tobirama himself who put an end to his indecision:

"Please, big brother. I'm better now, but you're making it worse by being here… Please go."

The words gutted Hashirama. Making it worse? Yes, he had made him stand up before, but he knew better than to do it again. How could his brother think so little of him…

But who was he to argue? He had done his brother wrong, so the least he could do was submit to his requests now.

Hashirama returned to the house as slowly as possible, constantly looking over his shoulder to check if his father and Tobirama were joining him. His mother asked him why he had been running before, but Hashirama was still so very distracted that he could not say much. He told her that Tobirama had not felt well after training and passed on Butsuma's message, before absently sitting down next to Kawarama on the living room floor.

Kawarama did his best to get his brother's attention, but when he realised that he was not about to get a playmate anytime soon, he became all the more invested in making his game extra interesting to entice Hashirama.

It was not until the whole family had gathered at the dinner table almost one hour later that Hashirama saw his brother and father again. Butsuma looked a little dishevelled – his clothes had dried but they were ruined from going into the water – and Tobirama thankfully appeared like he was back to normal.

They took their places at the table: Butsuma at the top, next to his brother, his elderly mother and a pair of cousins who acted as his advisors in the clan; and Tobirama in between Hashirama and Kawarama further down.

As always, Kawarama's excitement to see his brother was overwhelming. He would have leapt from the table to hug him if Hashirama had not stopped him.

Tobirama might look like he was better now, but Hashirama was not taking any chances.

"Kawa, stop that! We're at the table. Leave Tobi alone!"

Kawarama pouted at him and looked like he was going to protest, but it was Tobirama himself that soothed him.

"It's all right, Kawarama. Big brother is right."

Hashirama addressed Tobirama then:

"Tobi? Are you okay?"

Tobirama smiled.

"It was nothing, big brother. I'm fine now. Father helped."

"What happened?" Hashirama needed to know. Relief had opened the floodgates of all the anxiety he had been holding back. "One minute you were fine, the next you were falling right in front of me! Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, big brother. I'm fine now," Tobirama repeated.

"I was so worried…"

"Father says that I meditated too deeply."

Hashirama grabbed on to the new piece of information.

"Too deeply? What does that mean? He's always saying that we're not doing it right and to focus more and to try harder…"

Hashirama quietened before his annoyance with his father could get in the way of his concern for Tobirama. His brother looked a little shy now.

"He says that it's different with me, only he never realised it."

"Huh? Different how?"

"It's… It doesn't matter."

"But you're better now, right?"

Tobirama was a little more confident about answering this time: "Yes, I'm fine."

The tension finally left Hashirama's body.

"I'm so glad… Did father say if you can keep training with me?"

"I think so. Yes."

"Good!" Hashirama's excitement was contagious. Tobirama nodded, looking as relieved as he did to be allowed to remain in his big brother's company.

Dinner went the same as usual, with the boys keeping silent while the adults talked. Their mother had opened the doors that led to the house's inner garden and they could all hear the late afternoon breeze playing with the wind chimes that hung on the porch.

Butsuma and his advisors discussed the current state of the clan and the boys' uncle, Akira Senju, shared the latest information about the movements of the other clans that he had learned from the surrounding farms and settlements. Akira was a couple of years older than Butsuma, but a run in against a Hagoromo ninja in his youth who had been a little more creative in his use of exploding tags than expected had cost him a leg and part of an arm and so the leadership of the clan had passed on to Butsuma, while he had been left with managing the Senju's intelligence network.

Hashirama listened attentively while keeping an eye on Tobirama, to be sure that he would not faint again. Meanwhile, Kawarama played with his food and pushed the things that he did not like onto Tobirama's plate. Tobirama snuck Kawarama's favourites into his own plate in return.

Later that night, after the visitors were gone and the boys had settled down to sleep in their shared bedroom, Hashirama remembered something.

"Tobi? You awake?"

"Mmm?" He grunted, obviously having been close to sleep. "What is it, brother?"

"Do you remember when we were back at the river?"

"Yeah…?"

"You said that my being there was making you worse. What did you mean by that?"

Tobirama took a moment to reply.

"Does it matter? Let's just rest, Hashirama… Father won't go any easier on us in practice tomorrow than he did today."

"No. I want to know. Why did you say that?"

Tobirama sighed. The room was quiet for a moment before Hashirama heard his brother shift in his mattress, rolling until he was on his side facing him.

"Sometimes…" he started hesitantly, "when you're close, it feels like there's this pull… It's hard to explain, but it's like…" He stopped himself. Hashirama kept quiet, giving him whatever time he needed to gather his thoughts. "It's like… like your heart's beating for the both of us."

The words made no sense to Hashirama. It was only a week since his father had taught him and Tobirama about how the human circulatory system worked. Tobirama had been fascinated, but Hashirama had retained only the bare essentials, such as the location of the main arteries and veins, the best places to cut into with a sword and what to do if one was stabbed. He wondered if perhaps Tobirama was talking about something from that lesson.

"What do you mean, Tobi?"

"It doesn't happen all the time. At least not anymore. I think it must be because of the training. I used to feel it all the time before."

"Feel what?" He was getting impatient and forgot to whisper. He regretted it at once, when he heard Kawarama shift somewhere in the darkness. Their bedroom was tiny and all the boys slept a mere arm's length from each other. Both Hashirama and Tobirama waited to find out if the younger boy had woken, but thankfully he had not.

"I always used to know where you were because something inside me would pull me towards you… I don't know what to call it… It's like a sixth sense. Yeah… a sixth sense. Just like you can use your eyes to see what's in front of you or your ears to listen to what's around you, this sixth sense told me where you and everybody else was at any time. I just had to stay still and search for that pull."

It was a confusing notion to young Hashirama. He had never felt anything like what Tobirama described. When he needed to find anyone, he had to go look for them, search every room and every place he could think of until he came upon them. It was true that his brother had always been uncannily adept at finding him whenever he wanted, but how could that be done by staying still? His brother did not have a second set of ears or eyes, either, so what was he using for this so-called sixth sense? What he was saying made no sense, but he knew better than to question whether Tobirama was telling the truth or not. His brother had never been one to lie or exaggerate such things.

"How did you do it, Tobi?"

"Father says that it's because of how my chakra pathways are arranged. I just did it. Lately, though, it's gotten harder to do. When I close my eyes like usual, the pull is still there but it's too faint to follow."

"I see." He did not. "But what does that have to do with you passing out today?"

"I felt that pull really strongly today, while we were meditating. It was wonderful. I could just follow it until it felt like my whole body was vibrating with it. It wasn't like when you hold your hand close to fire and feel its warmth. It was like the flame was inside me and I felt it with the whole of my skin and my insides too. Or… think of that pull as a wave in the sea. If I stand in the middle of the water, I can feel the wave brush my legs. I can tell where it is and which side it came from. But today it was like I had actually become a part of the water again and was mixed in with the wave. It was like being carried away in a dream you can't control."

The conversation was becoming more and more confusing. Hashirama was not sure that he could follow what his brother was saying. It sounded a little like madness to him.

"Did you tell father about this?"

Because if anyone could understand what Tobirama was talking about, that would be Butsuma.

"Yes," Tobirama confirmed. "He said that I'm a natural sensor. Something about ninshuu, but he didn't explain."

Hashirama knew the term. His father had explained to him about the various ways that one could utilise chakra and how the ninja arts that they practiced had evolved from an older form of chakra manipulation called ninshuu that had been invented by the legendary Sage of the Six Paths.

Sensing was one among the many techniques of ninjutsu. Hashirama was even due to learn how to do it when he got older. He had just never tried to imagine what it would actually feel like to sense something with chakra.

"That's amazing, Tobi! You must be really talented!"

Tobirama hummed in response. Hashirama was so proud of him that he almost forgot to keep his voice down again.

"But if you've always been able to do it, then why did it make you faint today?"

"Father said that I was meditating too deeply and focused too much on your presence next to me. He said that your chakra is so much stronger than mine that it unbalanced me. I should have waited a while after the meditation was over to give my chakra enough time to go back to normal."

Hashirama wasn't sure about what he meant by stronger chakra, but one thing he did know. He had been the one to rush Tobirama before he had been prepared.

"I'm the one who made you get up… I'm sorry, Tobi… I didn't realise what would happen…"

"That's all right, brother. I'm fine now. Father helped."

But that did not ease Hashirama's guilt.

"I am so sorry… I won't ever do it again."

"It's fine."

Hashirama waited a moment. The guilt about having caused his brother distress would forever remain with him. The thing that he wanted most in the world was to keep his family safe and now he had caused Tobirama pain without realising it. He had made him lose his balance – whatever that meant – and then had compounded the mistake by forcing him to his feet before he was ready. It was a double fault.

But there was something else that he was curious about too.

"Can you still feel it now? The pull, I mean?"

"Yes," Tobirama said. "I can feel you and Kawarama, mother and father in the next room, our uncle and grandmother and the rest of our clan in the houses around ours."

"You can feel things that are that far away?"

"They're just an impression, really. Out of all of them, your presence is the strongest, big brother."

"Because I'm right next to you?"

"No. Your presence is different from everyone else's. It's so much brighter… It's warm, too. It reminds me of the sun. With the others, I can feel their chakra pulsing when I'm sensing them like this, but in your case, it goes deeper than that. It's like my chakra wants to imitate yours and it makes my heart beat in tandem with it. It's… strange, but at the same time, it's a good feeling because I know it's you and it means you're close."

Hashirama smiled. He still did not understand everything and it all sounded very weird and very concerning to him, but if Tobirama said that he was all right with it, then so was he.

"I was so scared, Tobi… You looked like you were dead."

"…I'm sorry, brother. It won't happen again."

"No, it won't," Hashirama agreed. _I won't let it_ , he added in his head. "Let's go to sleep now, okay?"

Hashirama heard Tobirama hum again in agreement. "Good night, brother," he said before rolling back to lay on his other side, facing away from his brother.

Hashirama was still too awake to follow his example. Even though he knew he needed his rest and would regret not sleeping as much when Butsuma was pushing him hard the next day, he could not bring himself to let Tobirama out of his sight just yet.

He would make sure that nothing like the events of this day ever happened again. He would be more careful. He never wanted to hurt one of his brothers again.

"I promise, Tobi."

He fell asleep to the nocturnal calls of crickets and to the sound of his brothers' gentle breaths.


	9. Mirror

**Summary : Tobirama meets Kagami Uchiha.  
**

* * *

"What is your favourite colour?"

The point of the question was supposedly to get to know one another, to "break the ice" in what had to be one of the most awkward team assignments ever. But ten-year-old Kagami Uchiha was not easily fooled and he knew that the Senju who stood in that training field before him, the Hokage's own brother, could not care less about favourite colours or favourite animals or any other of those inane things he had asked about so far.

It was an act. And Tobirama was not even trying that hard to disguise it. The mistrust shone clear in his eyes. They were both putting on the barest of performances, keeping their discourse as civil in content as possible, if not exactly in tone, all because the leaders of both their clans were friends and under some idiotic delusion that Uchiha and Senju could come to cooperate.

It was ridiculous.

"Blue," Kagami replied, not so much because it was the right answer, but rather because it was the colour that had been staring at him in the face for the past half hour in the form of the Senju's kimono.

It was with some satisfaction that the boy saw Tobirama's lip curl just a little bit more downwards.

Honestly, who on earth had thought that it would be a good idea to put him under the man's tutelage? To pair up Uchiha and Senju ninjas? Kagami would sooner carve out a new scar to match Tobirama's facial markings right across the Senju's damned neck.

If there was one good thing about the arrangement, at least, it was that it looked like the feeling was mutual.

Kagami could appreciate the honesty.

"Anything else you'd like to know… _sensei_?" The undeserved title was almost physically painful to verbalise, but somehow Kagami managed it.

Tobirama's eyes shifted down to the scroll containing all the questions that he had to ask and all the answers that the young Uchiha had given so far. The sheet was tipped just far enough that Kagami could peer into it and read it upside down. The handwriting on the questions did not quite match that of the answers, which made him think that someone else had probably drafted the introduction quiz.

It made sense. Kagami was not an idiot. The Senju was about as interested in learning about Kagami as he himself was in learning about the Senju, so it made no sense that the man would create such a lengthy list.

He could see that the next question was about his least favourite colour. "Yellow," popped into his head, much faster and with much more certainty than the previous one.

He waited for the question to come. Perhaps Tobirama was having trouble deciphering the script? The brush did seem to have slipped amid over-excited gestures, but it was still perfectly legible. So what was keeping him?

To Kagami's great surprise, Tobirama proceeded to rip the scroll apart and toss it aside.

"This is a waste of time and we both know it, so let's get to the point," Tobirama said.

The boy agreed, but he was so shocked at the sudden change in behaviour that he did not know how to react. He could not get his eyes off the pieces of paper discarded on the ground where all the information about him had been so meticulously inscribed up until now.

"Both of my younger brothers died in battle against your family. Kawarama was the first. He was seven years old. Then Itama, on that very same year. He was five."

Kagami had thought that he could perhaps take the Senju in a fight if it came down to it. The ten-year-old was small and not as strong as a full-grown man, but he was fast and agile and he already possessed a fully matured sharingan. There was a kunai hidden up his sleeve, just ready to be drawn and plunged into the nearest vital point that he could get to. He knew them all by heart: collarbone vein; spine; kidney; liver; lungs; larynx; jugular; heart. One good strike and the Senju would join his dead clansmen.

But one look at those intense red, sharingan-less eyes was enough to let Kagami know how wrong he had been. How very dead wrong.

Tobirama Senju was not like the other ninjas Kagami had encountered in the battlefield before his clan had signed that preposterous treaty with the Senju. And he was not the tame dog that Kagami had presumed him to be either.

His gaze was piercing. Would he attack now that he had enough of their little game? He could. He could say that there had been an accident while they were sparring and no one would be able to find any evidence to the contrary. They were alone on that training field, there were no witnesses and the Senju had the protection of his Hokage brother. Kagami was just some kid no one listened to anyway. No one would contest whatever he decided to tell them.

Furthermore, two dead brothers were a powerful motivator. Kagami knew it well. His own brothers had been cut down by Senju steel. One had been older than him and the other younger. All that he had left of them were a few memories that became vaguer each day and one all-consuming desire for revenge.

"One of the last things that I told Itama," the Senju told him, "was that he was going to get himself killed if he didn't give up on the grudges of our forefathers and kept fighting for useless reasons. We are ninjas and so we must keep our emotions in check and live by certain rules. You're still young, but I think that you can understand what I'm saying, can't you, Kagami?"

All that Kagami heard was "my brothers are dead". That thought short-circuited with the other's oppressive presence and had his brain drawing one conclusion: he was next.

Determined not to go down without a fight, Kagami reached for his kunai.

No sooner had the boy felt the weapon's coarse grip brush against the palm of his hand, that the Senju had grasped the wrist of his dominant hand and pulled it back until Kagami's face was pressed against the grass and his own weapon was poised to stab him in the back. The Senju had moved so quickly that Kagami had been unable to follow him without an active sharingan.

Collarbone vein, spine, kidney, liver, lungs, larynx, jugular, heart. One good strike and Kagami would join his dead brothers and the rest of his dead clansmen.

"I know that you don't trust me," Tobirama said. He spoke slowly, seeming to guess that Kagami was so on edge that he would not be able to understand him otherwise. "To be honest, I have my own doubts about you Uchiha as well. But, for better or worse, we are allies now."

Kagami felt the Senju's hold on him ease and he wasted no time in shaking himself loose. There was no resistance, but he still put a few metres' distance between them just to be on the safe side.

"Allies? What a joke!" Kagami's kunai was still in the hands of the Senju, but he was past caring about that. Fear for his life had caused his adrenaline to spike and he was veritably trembling with rage. It was pointless to attempt another attack, but all that emotion had to be directed somewhere: "My brothers are dead because of you! Your clan killed them! They must be turning in their graves looking down on everything that's happening now!"

Unexpectedly, Tobirama backed down. He seemed to shrink before Kagami's eyes, as his chakra stopped flooding the space around them.

"The dead do not turn anywhere. They are dead and can do nothing." His eyes lowered as he stared into the mid-distance. "My youngest brother, Itama, told me the exact same thing once and look at where it got him."

Dead. Like Kagami's own brothers. But still…

"There is no reason for us to fight one another, Kagami."

"What are you saying then? That we should forget about everything that happened? Act like we weren't killing each other before? Move on and become one big happy family now?"

"Don't be ridiculous," the Senju replied.

Somehow, Kagami found his bluntness refreshing. Ever since the truce, it had felt to him like most of his family were living in denial that they and the Senju had ever been on opposite sides of a battlefield.

"We can't erase the past, but we don't need to. We are ninjas. Do you know what that means?" Tobirama asked.

Now who was being the ridiculous one? Kagami dare not say it aloud, but no one could keep him from thinking it.

"Being a ninja means that we fight to protect our family." Except that Kagami had not been able to save his brothers from the Senju. "…Or at least try."

"You're not wrong," Tobirama said. He looked at the stolen kunai still in his grasp.

From where he stood, Kagami could see him turn it this way and that, occasionally catching the gleam of the sun on the sharp edge of the blade.

"Ninjas are those who fight for a reason, and it is an especially good reason if it is to keep our loved ones safe."

"That's what I said," Kagami grumbled.

"But don't you see the problem that lies therein?"

Kagami had been so confident that he had had the right answer all along that he now found himself at a loss. Judging his wide-eyed stare to be an indication that he, in fact, did not see any problem with that definition, Tobirama explained:

"We fight to save our loved ones, by killing someone else's loved ones. I fought for my brothers and you fought for yours. In the end, we ended up killing each other's families. If none of us had done anything, we would still have our families with us."

It was absolutely true and it was so simple that Kagami could not fathom how he had never thought about it. There was a symmetry. The Senju had killed his brothers, but he had also killed Senju. Not a lot of them, but even one was enough to rob somebody of a loved one. He had just never stopped to think that his enemies had been people too.

He had been so sure of his righteousness that he did not quite know what to make of it. Where did that leave him now? Had he been in the wrong? He had no idea.

"So… it was wrong?" Kagami asked.

"There is no right or wrong for a ninja, only survival and whether or not you've followed the rules. What happened in the war before was just senseless. There was no good reason for us to fight."

Kagami needed a moment to take in that information. He was used to taking orders from his elders, so the thought of following rules did not bother him. But he had always been told that meeting the Senju in battle was fulfilling some sort of divine mandate.

"It was our ancestors that demanded we kept fighting on their behalf. To restore their honour."

"You talk much to the dead, do you? Do you even know why the war began?"

The Senju's deconstructing cynicism was unwelcome. Kagami was stung. But he had to admit that he did not have an answer. The war had just been the way of things, a reality that had been with him since the moment of his birth.

"Trust me. I have talked to the dead before and I can assure you that they do not turn in their graves, or give orders to the living or have any need for us to defend something as insubstantial as their honour. The only reason we fought for as long as we did before was because we let our anger and hate get the better of us. There was no good reason for it.

"And the same thing goes for the other clans who are not included in our peace treaty," the Senju continued, "and the other villages that are following our example and forming their own alliances."

"What are you saying? I… I don't understand…" Kagami was confused. Other villages and other clans that he had never heard about – they all seemed so distant to him, like they could never affect him. The world was a big place. He knew nothing of what was happening outside of the sphere of his clan, but he would take the Senju's word for it. He worked with the Hokage, after all. "What about those other villages?"

"Right now the world is in relative peace. The war has ended. But the powers are shifting and not everyone has learned to let go of the old grudges. Ninjas fight. It's what we do: you said so yourself. Therefore, it's only a matter of time until we'll be forced to fight a war again."

The Senju stated it as if it were an inescapable fate. Kagami was beyond shocked. Right after he had condemned killing, Tobirama went and said that there would be more of it soon. His head was spinning.

There was one thing he could be certain of, however. Among his friends and relatives, the word "war" seemed to have become as taboo as the filthiest of curses. Anyone who so much as suggested that the peace would not last was severely reprimanded. Tobirama, on the other hand, had no regard for such restrictions. He spoke of it so freely.

"But then… then… what's the point of building this village?"

"The point is that our clans, all the clans that make up Konoha, are allies now. And since there is strength in numbers, maybe, just maybe, we might be able to avoid the worst-case scenario this time. Your family no longer ends at those whose family name is Uchiha, just as mine does not end at those that bear the name Senju. We are all in this together now and if we cannot find a way to trust each other, we will only be sparing our real enemies the trouble of bringing us down."

Kagami would have to be a fool not to see the logic in that, but at the same time he could absolutely not let go of one thought:

"But… my brothers…"

Tobirama cut him off before he could say more.

"Your brothers and mine did what they had to do. It's possible that without their sacrifice we would not be here, but times have changed and now we need to adapt. Emotions like those will only get in our way. It is discipline that we need to hold on to now, at least until we can find our balance and get to know each other a little better."

Kagami thought it over.

The thought that war might be return someday did not frighten him. He had been there before. He knew what to expect. What was not easy for him to accept was the idea that he could be fighting alongside a Senju this time, when all his life he had been taught to despise their name and spit on their family crest. But the Senju had been taught the same thing about the Uchiha – he could see it now, could look at himself and at his family from their standpoint – and he knew that he had only done what he had to in order to survive. It stood to reason that the same was true of the Senju. They were only human, not the demons he had been taught to hate.

His brothers were dead and, for a while after the peace treaty had been signed, he had felt like everyone he knew was doing their best to forget that they had ever existed. His mother did not talk about them and his father had scolded him the last time that he had invoked their memories, telling him that he was just a kid who understood nothing about anything.

Tobirama – no: sensei was not like that. He was not denying the past and he was not saying that everything was fine the way that it was now. Nor was he ignoring the possibility that bad things might be ahead for all of them. There were still threats out there and they each carried their hurt. Nothing could deny that.

There was a lot of work for them to do yet, building the necessary trust between the clans to overcome such a bloody history, but, for the first time, Kagami felt like he might like the place where those efforts could lead him.

A future where family did not end in a name. It was an interesting thought.

"Sensei…" he called. The word still did not feel like it belonged on his tongue, but it had come easier this time. "Your brothers… Kawarama and Itama, right? What were their favourite colours?"

If family was to supersede the boundaries of clans, then he would like to start on his new journey by knowing more about his new family members.


	10. Debt

**Summary : Tobirama is a hard man, so what would make him speak up in chapter 619? (He just looks so regretful there…)  
Notes: Continued thanks to everyone who has reviewed or added this little drabble collection to their favourites! Believe me, you make all the difference when I'm writing! There will be one more drabble after this one for sure. After that... I'll let you know then. ;)**

* * *

 **Debt.**

"Itachi killed his entire clan to prevent the coup and in doing so stopped the even greater bloodshed that would have followed," a Saru who was now older than Tobirama was saying. He went on to explain other things to the Uchiha child before them, but that was as far as the Second Hokage could make sense of his words. He had no idea who or what the Akatsuki was.

Tobirama was a practical man and, most importantly, a private one. He did not cry over spilled milk and, if lament he must, he did so to himself, alone. Yet, this once, something compelled him to speak:

"It is the destiny of the ill-fated Uchiha," he told the boy. "To think that they were annihilated…"

The thing that had to be understood here was that Tobirama hated being in someone's debt. The resulting obligation gnawed at his bones, begging to be let loose, and plucked at his tendons, reminding him of its presence until he did something to even the score.

He hated it because it reminded him that at some point he had failed, that he had not been enough to rise to a challenge. Both of these were unforgivable sins, in his opinion – weaknesses.

On the other hand, he hated it because his sense of justice never let him forget about such things. Regardless of who was on the other end of that debt, he was never able to forget and never able to let it go.

And Madara Uchiha had saved Hashirama when Tobirama could not.

It was true that Madara had been the one to put Hashirama in harm's way in the first place – " _either kill your brother or kill yourself_ " – but, again, Tobirama was a practical man and fully aware that there had been other alternatives. No one had forced his brother to make the choice that he did. And when the kunai had been rushing towards his brother's gut, Madara's hand had been the one to stop it. Tobirama had been in too much shock to even move.

He had never expressed anything about this feeling to anyone, least of all Madara, of course. His pride would not allow it and he knew that the Uchiha clan head would never accept his thanks anyway. Still, his gratitude and the debt he owed shone through in small gestures: a shy, new openness to listen to what the Uchiha proposed – even though he often ended up disagreeing – and a willingness to let his old, irredeemable opinions about that clan be changed. Small stones that eventually started an avalanche and allowed the Senju to make peace with the Uchiha.

But Tobirama had never actually paid off the debt that he felt he owed, and now it seemed that he never would. All the Uchiha were dead and gone, except for Sasuke.

So he would offer his sympathies to this boy, hoping that somehow his obligation would lessen. He felt… no. He wanted the boy to know that his loss was acknowledged.


	11. Teaching and learning

**Summary : Following "Mirror" (because it makes me lol whenever Kagami is made out to be this sweet and fluffy little boy and because the world needs more extreme-methods!Tobirama-sensei).**

* * *

Kagami did not know what to do.

The small ten-year-old had come home early from training and the first thing he did was lock himself in his bedroom. He sat on his mattress and there he had remained for the past hour and a half, not even moving to change out of his wet clothes.

He stared at the dark patch on the floorboards by the window, where rain had rotted the wood, as if there he would find his answer.

For the past two weeks he had been training every day with Tobirama Senju and for the past two weeks he had done everything that he could to _hurt_ the man. Not kill, because that would have gotten the young Uchiha in trouble with his clan in these first days of their uncertain new village, but if he could have done a little maiming that would have been just fine.

Tobirama had to have known what Kagami was doing. After all, their clans' hatred for one another was a known fact. There were no illusions that if the man had wanted to kill Kagami, he could have, but the Senju had not been trying very hard to keep his newly-appointed student from harm either and there were a number of bruises to prove it.

Kagami had thought that he had it all figured out. He hated the Senju and he had thought that Tobirama hated the Uchiha. Politics had decided that they should train together, a token inter-clan apprenticeship as a token of peace, but if there was an opportunity for an "accident" to take place, neither would shy away from it.

So why, then, had Tobirama done what he had done today?

Kagami had frozen like a genin, unable to react as soon as he had seen Tobirama's Suiton. He had panicked, his mind had drawn a blank. It would have been impossible to put up a defense. If that jutsu had hit, Kagami would have been dead.

But it did not hit. Tobirama had realised that Kagami was not moving out of the way – as anyone with the slightest bit of sense would have done instinctively – and he had redirected his attack.

The water had still left Kagami drenched and he had a nasty bump on his head where he had fallen, but that was a far cry from the state that the nearest trees had been left in.

That was when Tobirama had called an end to their training session and dismissed him.

Kagami sighed. In a burst of frustration, he put his hands to his head and mussed up his hair.

Kagami knew that if the tables had been turned, he would not have shown Tobirama the same mercy. The Senju and the Uchiha were enemies! So why had Tobirama saved him from his own stupidity?

Could this truce be for real?

No. That was preposterous. Ridiculous. Impossible. Uchiha and Senju had been killing each other for centuries! But if it were true, if Tobirama and Hashirama and all those others had actually meant it when they said that they wanted to stop the fighting…

No. No no no. No way. The Senju were _evil_ and could not be trusted.

But why had Tobirama not killed him today? No one would have blamed him. It would have been called a legitimate training accident. The whole reason why little Kagami had been placed under the Senju was that he was a nobody within his clan, the youngest of a remote branch whose ties to the main family could only begin to be properly traced four generations back: no one among the Uchiha would have protested about his death other than his sister and his mother, who were just as nobodies as him.

The whole thing was a puzzle that Kagami could not fit together.

For now, until he found an answer, he decided that he would hold back on the assassination attempts. He needed Tobirama to be alive if he were to figure him out.

And after he had his answer, if his belief that the Senju were soulless demons who deserved to die was confirmed, there would be plenty of time to go back to trying to create "accidents" for his so-called sensei.


	12. Diplomacy

**Summary : Kagami and Tobirama, on a mission to recruit new allies** **.**

* * *

A carp broke the surface of the stream that ran southward along the road. It jumped in a bold arch, maws wide to snatch a curious dragonfly that had dared fly too low. A flash of silver scales behind a splash of rainbow droplets and it was gone, with nothing but the ghost echoes persisting in the two travelers' ears to indicate that it had been there.

Tobirama's gaze followed the silver shape as it faded underwater, contemplating the resourcefulness of nature's predators.

Kagami did not look. His eyes were focused on the distant past, lost among the dust of the road.

"You've been very quiet," commented Tobirama as he continued to walk.

Unlike Kagami's, his footfalls were naturally silent. Years of experience transforming the acquired into the innate.

The young Uchiha blinked as though coming out of a trance. His master had stopped briefly to wonder at the carp and yet he stood a couple of paces in front of him. The boy tightened the strap of the cloth bag tied across his chest and caught up with him.

"Sorry, sensei." The title came easily now. "It's just— Azuchi Castle— have you been there before?"

The word _before_ gained new meaning when it was an Uchiha who employed it.

Azuchi was the fortress of the Niwa, a noble family with ties to the daimyou that claimed control of the Land of Fire. The festivals that they held twice a year — once at the start of harvest season and the other close to the start of the new year — were renowned throughout the civilised nations, attracting thousands from all over.

Historically, the Niwa had favoured the services of the Hagoromo ninja clan and their allies, including the Senju. Thanks to these shinobi in their employment, the Niwa lords had resisted the spread of the neighbouring Western Coallition of Generals of the Desert and kept their rule over quite a large portion of land — miles and miles as far as the eye could see with several peaceful farming towns in between.

Their territory also included the grounds that the Uchiha had once called home. Rather than start a war with the reputed clan for trespassing that would cost both sides much unnecessary bloodshed, however, the Niwa had tacitly given them the freedom to occupy that land without charge, as long as they did not interfere with the lords' business. It also had not hurt the Uchiha's case that they were capable warriors properly motivated to defend their home when the Niwa were struggling to defend their borders.

The Hagoromo clan had a reputation for being particularly mindful of their secrets, including the location of their home. Even the Senju did not know how to contact them, having to rely on a liaison who stayed on a semi-permanent basis at the Senju camp to carry messages between them and their allies.

As such, Hashirama and Madara had no means by which to contact them now in order to extend an invitation to join the newly-formed Senju-Uchiha alliance. Tobirama and Kagami's job, then, was to locate a Hagoromo in the court of the Niwa who might carry their message to the head of that clan.

Kagami had not said anything when the mission to visit the castle had first been assigned to them, but Tobirama would not be surprised if his student was already familiar with the place.

"I have been there once before," Tobirama answered. "The castle was not my final destination, but some of the servants there let me spend the night with a roof over my head while I travelled."

Neither Tobirama's past travels nor the servants of the Niwa were particularly agreeable subjects to Kagami, though. He avoided thinking about what else those past missions might have entailed.

With not a cloud in the sky to keep the midday sun from shining bright above, a wide river on one side of the road and an open prairy on the other, there was no way for bandits or enemies to sneak up on the two unseen. Tobirama still reached out with his senses in as wide a circle as possible without pausing to mold chakra and concentrate on the task, while he waited for the boy to reply.

Kagami said nothing.

"Is there something you're not telling me, Kagami?" he prompted. The question was unnecessary. Something had to be on his mind. This much silence was uncommon.

For the first time since setting out, Kagami's eyes left the earth-packed road at his feet to take in the river. There were rapids up ahead, the deceptive round peaks of black lychen-spotted rocks peeking from under the water and the rising mist of a waterfall after that. They were nowhere near enough to hear more than a whisper of the rushing water, but the sound of its roar on a new moon's night filled Kagami's ears nonetheless.

"I've been there before," he replied. "It was the last time that my clan had business with the Niwa. Lord Madara took over the clan leadership shortly after and decided to focus in a different direction."

The hairs on the back of Tobirama's neck prickled when the boy mentioned Madara — his brother's _dearest_ friend _—_ but he could hardly blame Kagami for showing the proper respect to his clan head. Loyalty was an admirable trait and, despite the many failings that Tobirama could point out about the man, even he could not accuse Madara of doing wrong by his clan. The Senju had nothing to say in regards to that.

"What was your mission back then?"

It would be inconvenient if Kagami had left a bad impression on the residents that they would presently encounter.

Kagami knew that if he were to focus on Tobirama's question he would find a deeper purpose to it. The truth was just within reach, but for the moment his mind was too full of that awful, incessant roar of the waterfall to focus. Shivers ran down his spine as he felt a phantom of those icy waters trickle from his hair to the back of his neck and underneath his shirt.

Kagami answered, nonetheless. Over the few weeks that they had known each other, Tobirama had somehow gained that much of his trust.

"Just reconnaissance and saving a comrade. An Uchiha kunoichi who was taken there as a captive."

"And how did it end?"

"We never even saw the Niwa. There was a Senju team there at the time who intercepted us." Kagami turned to Tobirama, looking at him in the eye. He did not want to miss anything about the man's following reaction. "We killed one of them."

That awful noise in Kagami's ears mingled now with distant clangs of steel and the cries of those unlucky enough to find themselves in the way of a blade. The Senju had not been the only casualty that night and, right now, Kagami wanted Tobirama to know a little of what that had felt like.

They continued walking.

Tobirama kept his expression schooled as he pulled memories from the back of his mind to try to form a picture.

Madara had not yet been the leader of the Uchiha at the time, Kagami had said. That meant that those events had taken place during Butsuma's time.

Tobirama's father had refused to die before his old rival Tajima. Out of spite alone, he had withstood eight long and painful months with one lung collapsed and the other stricken with acute pneumonia, just to get his wish. The treatments had been excrutiating; by the end, the doctors had not even bothered to remove the tube from his chest, letting the nauseating built up fluids drain directly into a bowl.

While Hashirama was out constantly fighting in the bloodiest battles, Tobirama had split his time between the front lines and home, ensuring that the clan elders and Butsuma's advisors, left to their devices, did not destroy the clan before Hashirama could take over. As such, he had read the reports from most of the missions that had happened during that period. Most importantly, he had thoroughly examined the records of all of their casualties.

One Senju dead in the vicinity of Azuchi. He remembered that. The mission had been minor, just a supply run. Fighting enemy ninjas had never been considered a possibility. From the captain's report, they had been as surprised as the Uchiha at the encounter.

Kagami's kunoichi must have already been at the castle when the Senju arrived, before the Uchiha made their move.

Tobirama also remembered reading that at least one Uchiha had been confirmed killed in action. The researcher in him had regretted the lost opportunity to lift the veil on the secrets of the sharingan. The Senju captain had asked to be given custody of the body, but the Niwa had expressly forbidden it, threatening to cut ties with their clan unless the Senju left without it.

Knowing this, Tobirama could ask if the dead had been a friend of Kagami's or if he had been close to the kunoichi who, according to everything he had read and been told, had been tortured in every way imaginable. His student was still young, unstable, prone to thoughts of revenge.

"Such is the life of ninja. But the past is the past. What's dead is dead and we move on. Yes?"

Kagami lowered his head, chin against his chest. He had to, so he would not flinch. Tobirama was a wall. Whatever Kagami tried to direct at him always ricocheted back at him.

His brothers had been shinobi and nothing would bring them back. Dead was dead indeed.

"Yes, that's right."

It would have to be reassurance enough for the Senju, although Kagami himself was not convinced.

The pointed rooftops of the castle peeked from behind the treetops of a thick forest up ahead, the thick dark green branches unable to fully hide the fierceness of the guardian red and gold dragons depicted on the eaves, baring their teeth at nothing.

At their current pace, Tobirama and Kagami would be there within the hour.

Azuchi was well protected. Kagami remembered that much from his last time there. The walls around it were tall and thick, more than enough to keep out anyone who was not trained in the arts of chakra. Those that were found guards stationed throughout the grounds, strategically located so as to not allow any blind spots in their grid.

The tight security was the reason why Kagami's team had been selected to go to Azuchi before. As children, they could walk through the front door, claim to be beggars out looking for refuge and not raise any questions.

Two guards stood in Tobirama and Kagami's path, well before they approached the castle itself.

Kagami smiled a little as he made that connection. Tobirama really could not fool anyone into thinking that he had yet to go through adolescence. He saw the new arrivals as more of an opportunity than an inconvenience, though. If one of them was a Hagoromo, then Tobirama and he could deliver their message right there, without need to get closer to that place that was the setting of his nightmares.

The guards' gestures betrayed their lack of training, though. These were peasants who had been decked in ill-suited armour and told to make their poleaxes look tall and threatening. They would sooner collapse under their own weight than present any real danger to so much as a genin.

Tobirama apparently agreed. He stated their purpose and let one of the guards escort them through the gates.

The closer that they got to the castle, the less natural the scenery appeared to be. Signs of human influence were everywhere, from an artificial pond, trimmed in polished stone blocks, to the flowering bushes of all colours that fringed the road. They went on a gradient from yellow, to orange, to red, to pink and violet, too carefully arranged to have been planted there by chance. Old granite lanterns of varying styles were set along the path at regular intervals.

One tree in particular drew Kagami's attention: a maple tree whose top branches had been trimmed to force it to grow in breadth rather than height. Kagami could still hear his younger brother's stupefaction when they had seen it for the first time.

 _"Why would they do that? You can't climb a tree that low! Where's the fun in that?"_

Kagami bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut. _The past is the past. What's dead is dead. Let it go_ , he told himself.

"Is the lord of the castle here?" Tobirama asked their escort. Kagami happily latched on to his voice to drown out the ones from his unwanted memories.

Surprised at being addressed by one who had such a threatening presence, it was all that the guard could do not to drop his poleaxe. Even a peasant without training was capable of recognising danger.

"Y— yes. We— before— my companion and I— we sent a message ahead that you were here, Sir."

And so it was.

Lord Niwa, head of his family and sixth of his name, was waiting for them at the top of the steps that led to the entrance proper of the grand castle, standing in the shade of the lowest level of roof eaves. He was an old man, fat, but he wore his thinning black hair carefully coiffed, while dressing in layers of gold-threaded silk.

Around him and occupying the steps before him like a buffer, the real guards stood, heavily armed, gazes split between the newcomers and the large man who waited next to their lord. The captain of the guard wore gold trimmed black armour and a matching helmet and mask that obscured his features. His sword was twice the size of the others.

There were no unprepared peasants here, at the heart of the fortress. Just samurai and ninjas — some wearing the markings of the Hagoromo clan, Tobirama was glad to see.

The usual pleasantries were exchanged:

"If you're bringing trouble to this door, ninja-san, you can turn around right now and be on your way!"

"No trouble, Lord Niwa. We are not here for you, but rather to see one of the men under your command. One of the Hagoromo, to be more exact."

Tobirama's gaze landed on those who were easily identified as part of that clan, but he noticed a few others react in the same way throughout the crowd, even among the servants. They were everywhere.

"And what for? I won't have you settling your personal differences on my front yard!" the lord said. As a sensor, Tobirama could pick up on his irritation for not being the focal point of the visit.

Tobirama offered no apologies.

"No differences exist. We are here to speak and deliver a message only."

The gold ring on Lord Niwa's hand caught the glint of the sun as the man pointed a finger at the Senju.

"Very well. I will allow one of you inside. The boy stays out here with my men while you come and do your _speaking_."

Tobirama bowed. Before making his way up the steps, he left Kagami with one final murmured warning:

"Remember: we are here to make allies. Don't cause any trouble."

Under normal circumstances, the orders would have presented no problems to Kagami. He knew how to be funny and charming and approachable when he wanted to. It would not have been hard for him to start a casual conversation with one of the sentries while he waited, perhaps finding out a little bit more of what the Niwa's current dealings were in the process.

As it was, _déjà vu_ was flooding and all five of his senses conspired to persuade him that he was six years old again and back in that awful mission that had cost the lives of his two brothers.

To the left, there was the tall flag pole with the Niwa name written in black over yellow cloth, the same one that he was supposed to climb — _that he had climbed_ — to enter the left wing of the barracks complex through one of the windows. The glass had been repaired since and bars that had not existed before had been added.

Back then, thick ropes had hung down the side of the castle, coarse from exposure to the elements. Additional banners were hung when particularly honoured guests came to stay. They had been a convenient way out of the building for Kagami's team, allowing them to protract the use of chakra-based techniques which would have alerted any resident sensors until the very final stretch of their escape.

The black steel hooks remained nailed to the outside of the third storey, but here the guards had learnt their lesson too. The ropes were gone, not to be put in place until an event called for their use.

The innermost circle of walls, now behind him, were the same, as far as the Uchiha could tell. It had been a difficult task for three children to climb them while carrying the dead weight of an unconscious adult kunoichi, but they had managed. They would have been the last real obstacle in their path if the Senju had not been waiting on the other side.

All the sights were as familiar to Kagami as they would be if he had lived at the castle for the past four years. He had relived the events of that mission a thousand times in his nightmares, in vivid detail.

"Well, what do you know. The rumours must be true."

The gruff voice brought Kagami back to the present. The captain of the guard stood before him in impeccably polished black and gold armour, hands resting atop the pommel of his oversized sword. It must not have ever seen real battle.

"What rumours are those?" he asked.

"That the Uchiha and the Senju have kissed and made up. I never thought I'd see one of you standing so cozily next to one of them. Or maybe that thing stitched to your shirt is fake and you're just his little bitch?"

Kagami grit his teeth. _Friends_. He and his sensei were there to make friends, not scorch stupid wise-asses to a crisp.

He gave the man a thin smile.

"Oh no, it's true. There's a signed treaty and everything."

"Fuck!" The captain shook his head while he laughed full-bellied. The steel plates of his armour rattled as he could not help himself. "A little piece of paper and ink put an end to that feud? Even I don't believe that! If half of what they say about him is anything to go by, you should watch your back, boy. That Tobirama Senju is a strange one."

The man — samurai?, ninja?; he carried a katana so Kagami was not sure — took two steps forward. The Uchiha would have liked nothing better than to take two steps back, but held his ground instead.

The mask covering the captain's face was, like many others worn by those descended from wealthy families, specially designed to strike fear into the hearts of their enemies: a horned demon's head with a snarl that contorted itself up to a pair of red forked eyebrows disappearing under the heavy helmet. The brutal imagery and striking colours were part of a cheap tactic to compensate for lack of any actual individual threatening qualities. As such, they did not impress Kagami. The slivers of skin and real expression that were visible through the gaps were of much greater interest to him.

"There really is an alliance." Then, because he could not keep himself from needling back, even just a little, this man who was trying so hard to intimidate him: "But my _sincerest_ thanks for worring about my safety."

Most of the soldiers occupying the courtyard were breaking formation and going back to their regular posts, boots loud as they ground gravel and sand underneath. Only a small contingent of six remained nearby to back up their commander as he kept watch over Kagami.

Thin lips whitened behind the mask as they pursed. The captain gestured towards a red gate marking the entrance of a path through the manicured gardens. Kagami reluctantly went with him, the six other soldiers following closely behind.

The stone slab pavement had been swept of leaves recently. While the flower bushes lining the road were delicate and beautiful, the cypresses that rose like a living wall on the other side were much more to Kagami's liking. Their leaves were dark and their trunks trimmed to vertical perfection, standing closely packed together in a forest that afforded very limited visibility. They had been the Uchiha's allies, keeping them hidden in that time long ago.

"How did you know about the truce?" Kagami asked.

It had been three months since the founding of their new, as of yet unnamed, village and both Senju and Uchiha had been too busy settling their differences to spread the news to the outside world. They had made it a point to keep their negotiations secret from the nobles and daimyous and especially from the rest of the ninja clans, lest they assume that the two largest players on the board had been defanged.

His and Tobirama's mission was one of the first efforts to reestablish lines of communication. Other teams had been sent to other clans with similar messages — to the Yuuhi, the Katou, the Aburame, the Gekkou… — but, for all intents and purposes, the reason why Uchiha and Senju had so abruptly stopped accepting missions should not have been known to the people of Azuchi Castle.

"Pshh. How does anyone know anything that goes on in this world?"

To illustrate his point, he took a leather flask from his belt and rattled the liquid inside it in Kagami's direction, an offer to partake which the Uchiha excused himself from.

"Suit yourself, boy," the captain said before removing his mask to take a swig. He exhaled afterwards like a contented horse.

Bandages covered one of his eyes. Other than that, he appeared much frailer than Kagami had expected, given the volume of armour on him. His neck was even thinner than Kagami's — and he was generally considered scrawny. The man's cheeks were sunken, bones protruding around his visible eye socket, accentuating the purple skin around his eyes with shadows deeper than the mask could have cast. His nose had been broken and badly set somewhere along the way, but the lines on his forehead were carved deep, speaking of an unusual longevity for someone of their occupation. He was also drenched with sweat, which he wiped from his brow with the same hand that held the flask.

The sun was strong and the dark, bulky armour hot.

The path reached a wooden bridge arching over the wide pond that Kagami had glimpsed on the way in. No sunlight penetrated the water, reflecting back on an obsidian surface dotted in the green, white and pink of lotus flowers.

Kagami froze, taken aback by sudden recollection. It was another one of those places featured prominently on his memories, those that he wanted to do everything that he could to pretend that did not exist. He decided to turn right to go along the pond and then back towards the castle — Tobirama was not a conversationalist; he would return before long — but before he could take a single step, the captain of the guard had gone ahead onto the bridge.

He reclined against the railing half-way in and took another long gulp from his flask, eyeing the container afterwards appreciatively.

The opaque surface of the lake filled Kagami with mistrust. The roaring waterfalls were playing back in his mind, memories mingling until it was impossible to break the events of that long ago mission apart from one another.

 _"I'm older than you two, so it's my job to keep you safe. Just promise me that you'll get out of this and I'll have no regrets!"_

Kagami did not go onto the bridge. Waiting at the peak of the arch, the captain noticed his reluctance.

"What's the matter? Come on! You're not scared of a little water, are you?"

He loosed another one of those belly laughs. It echoed unpleasantly in the small clearing, rebounding insolently off the solemn cypresses. Its noise was jarring against the backdrop of the peaceful gardens.

 _Be friendly_ , Kagami reminded himself, fists clutching the fabric of his shorts. This was the second time he was insulted and he still could not respond as he would have liked.

"Actually, I was thinking that we should go back. My sensei will be done delivering his message any moment now."

"Oh, he can wait a little, _can't he boys?_ " the captain raised his voice at the end to ask the six men who stood behind Kagami. When called out, they advanced, tightening the circle at the end of the bridge.

Suddenly, the Uchiha felt like he was being caged in.

"Get over here, boy. Just come and get your fill of this view. This lake is unlike any other you'll ever see. Our good Lord Niwa's grandfather had it made so that it was deep enough for his koi to grow unfettered. The oldest one is said to date back from that time. It's larger than a grown man: three meters long!"

"That's fascinating, but I prefer fish that can be put over a fire and eaten."

"This one would eat you, if it got past the tangle of lotus and seaweeds! It would be a damn shame too, with your pretty little eyes… it'd suck them right off your skull with its big maw and call them a treat. I reckon it would find them tasty. But not to worry — I'll make sure you don't fall in."

 _Don't fall in before what?_ the thought erupted. The man was too insistent, his gaze gaining new intent, and the six others were still stepping forward. It felt like they were trying to steer Kagami towards the bridge like a lost lamb into the pen. He did not like it.

"Thanks, but—"

Whatever excuse he had, he was spared from having to spout it, as the captain gave up on doing things the easy way.

"Fuck it, just grab him!"

Strong hands clamped around Kagami's arms and pushed him forward. They came abruptly enough to force him to step on the bridge, but the young Uchiha soon gained traction against the wooden floorboards.

His body had gone rigid. The water was right there, right under him in the gaps between the planks. But Kagami would not go far if he did fall in. A mesh of jaundiced lotus stalks, peeling their outer layers, was visible through the murky water. It was not hard for the imagination to add similarly decomposing bodies, pale and white-eyed, forever lost, trapped in their snare as Lord Niwa's prized koi fed and destroyed every last trace of them.

Meanwhile, the black-armoured captain had worked the top half of his flask free.

"It's a shame to waste good sake like this, but at the price that I'll be selling your eyes in the black market later this week? It's worth spoiling this much to preserve the investment." Yellow crooked teeth splayed themselves in a grin before Kagami. "That scarred Senju bastard can take the blame for this one, yeah? So come on, let's see the money. Show us those pretty red sharingan of yours, Uchiha."

Some of Kagami's fear actually dissipated at that peculiar form of goading. With his arms pinned, he would have drawn on the power of his ocular genjutsu to get himself out of the predicament anyway. The fact that he was invited to do so by his captors was just evidence that they did not know the first thing about ninja, other than which body parts to scavenge.

 _Samurai, then._

The captain's hands were jittering from excitement at the prospect of imminent fortune, so much so that he spilled part of the alcohol still in the flask.

 _Make allies_ , Tobirama's ghost voice came to Kagami again, interrupting his momentum, right as he was about to get started.

 _Fine_ , Kagami answered it, grudgingly switching tactics to hit the samurai with a less harmful kind of illusion.

The world turned silent. The tops of the cypresses bent down with darkened fingers, while a million tiny particles of water rose from the lake's surface like slow-motion liquid fireworks — perfect little round diamonds that reflected and encapsulated worlds inside them, each holding part of one of their siblings but each entirely their own.

A large koi fish with red and white patterns leapt high, adding to the spectacle with the droplets that rained from its skin as it flew above the bridge, fins splayed like wings, and disappeared into the black lake on the other side. The moment that it was entirely underwater again, several thuds were heard back in the real world.

All the samurai had fallen asleep.

One of them fell over the railing. His heavy armour threatened to drag him down towards the lake. Not in the mood to go fishing afterwards, Kagami quickly pulled him back to lay on the bridge.

With any luck, he and Tobirama would be well on the way home before the genjutsu faded and they woke up on their own. It would be difficult to explain to Lord Niwa that he had put them to sleep and still conform to the parameters of the mission not to antagonise his hosts in any way.

He gave the scene one last once over, to make sure that all seven of his would-be assassins were safe and sound — and that was when he saw it.

A spot of bright teal chakra on a body that otherwise glowed very dimly in shades of yellow. Not just any shade of teal either. It was the very particular hue of a hummingbird's feathers, the vibrant colour splash on the underside of dark wings: his older brother's teal.

" _I'm sorry, Kagami, Tamazou. I won't be there to see you two grow up after all. But I will buy you as much time as I can._ "

The kunai was out of the weapons pouch and poised to cut out the eye that the captain of the guard had wrapped in bandages before Kagami became quite aware of what he was doing.

How could he let this bastard live?

" _Are you sure we're brothers, Kagami? You're way too short to be a brother of mine._ "

" _Lay one finger on my brothers. Go on, you bastard. I dare you._ Try it."

" _Well, it can't be helped. You're too soft. Looks like I'll have to stick by your side until the rest of time to make sure that you're all right, huh, Kagami?_ "

When Kagami opened his eyes, the weapon was on his hand and that lively warm chakra that he had missed so dearly right underneath.

He realised something then.

The flow of the captain's chakra system was irregular, not just because of Kagami's genjutsu, but because it was being syphoned towards Tsurugi's active sharingan.

No wonder the man was so thin. Keeping their doujutsu active could drain the chakra reserves of a fully-trained Uchiha in a matter of hours. Kagami could only imagine what it was doing to a stranger who had no training in the ninja arts.

It would consume him from the inside out, draining energy faster than the man could produce it. The captain was wise to keep it hidden under a blindfold, but it was only a matter of time until he became too weak and lost the battle anyway. No cloth could fully block out the light of the outside world. In time, the sharingan would exhaust him of every last dreg of life that he had to offer.

The kunai came down, gently cutting the bandages and exposing the crimson sharingan to the world.

The genjutsu's hold would not abate until at least one hour from then: not enough time for the stolen eye to finish doing its work, but long enough for it to make considerable progress. That was the whole point.

 _Still not making enemies, sensei. Not killing, not attacking, not even talking back, just like you wanted_ , Kagami thought.

He ran.

Past the lake and the cypresses and the flower bushes with their myriad colours and out through the red gate that led to the court before the castle's entrance.

Kagami found a secluded spot, where he would not draw the attention of guards who might wonder where their captain was if they spotted him and waited.

As expected, Tobirama emerged before long.

"Any difficulties?" the Senju asked.

Kagami shook his head.

"Are we done here?" His impatient shifting and acute watchfulness of his surroundings did not escape Tobirama's notice.

"The mission was a success. We can go. I'm sure you're looking forward to that."

"Yeah…" And just in time. Three guards disappeared down the path through the garden gate, out to look for their absent captain. "I'm ready to put this place behind my back. With any luck, it will be the last time I see it."

Tobirama nodded.

Without further ceremony, the pair set on the road back home, leaving the grounds of Azuchi Castle behind.


End file.
